A Relationship is a bond of two people attached with strings of trust and loyalty. It may go through phases like friendship, love, and marriage. A relationship always begins to be the most perfect one. In the first few stages, both partners show an immense level of love, care, and respect for each other, creating a garden of love with flowers of utter devotion and affection blooming in it. These first few months bring happiness and strong emotions to your life.
But as we all know, nothing is meant to last forever in this world, and things are bound to change as time passes. After the sweet sugary honeymoon period passes, you tend to move on to new phases of the relationship where things start to take a turn. It sometimes becomes very tough to go through those ups and downs, which may even destroy the relationship. Sometimes either or both the partners stop trying or take the other one for granted, which causes a loss of interest and thus creating a lot of problems in relationships. The biggest threat to a relationship arises when a person loses trust in their partner, which leads to many doubts about things made up in their own minds.
Although it is said that excess of anything is always bad, trusting someone blindly and not even having a healthy doubt with a robust and genuine reason backing it up is also not a good thing. But when you start having unnecessary and insignificant doubts born just out of your insecurities and past experiences, it becomes a significant threat to a relationship. Fear of losing or noticing changes in your partner’s behavior are a few main reasons for having those doubts in your mind. Let’s discuss how doubts can destroy a relationship in detail.
10 Reasons to doubt your loved ones
- Fear: The constant fear of losing your partner and making up your mind that your partner will leave you for some other person creates doubts in your mind. These doubts are mostly unnecessary.
- Behavior change: As time passes in a relation, your partner’s behavior starts to change. You keep on noticing the difference between the love and care shown in the past and present.
- Past experiences: You might have been in a relationship in the past where you have been cheated. Now you are overly cautious and keep doubting that the same thing will happen with you in this relationship also.
- Long-distance Relationship: A long-distance relationship means no frequent meetings and time spent with each other. It sometimes leads to losing that bond and feeling of trust for your partner.
- Over possessive nature: If you have an over-possessive personality and you can’t trust someone easily. Your partner might get frustrated and stop trying to prove his loyalty to you every single time, then it creates a lot of unnecessary doubts in your mind.
- Infidelity: The act of infidelity is entirely intolerable, and it leads your relation to a great mess. Once cheated, it becomes difficult to build that trust again, and the doubts of repeating that incident again keep on striking your mind.
- Lack of communication: Communication with your partner is the sole key to clear all the doubts problems that you have in your relationship. If you both lack communication, then things keep on piling up in your mind, creating a huge mess.
- Constant Lies: If your partner is lying to you constantly for unnecessary things and you have caught him red-handed with those lies once or twice, it breaks the wall of trust between you two.
- Taken for granted: It is a massive problem in a relationship where your partner starts taking you for granted and stops treating you the way he used to be. This behavioral change might bring a lot of insignificant doubts to your mind.
- Constant whining: Life is not a fairytale with unicorns and rainbows in it, sometimes it becomes hard, but you have to deal with the situation. Constant whining can lead to frustration in your partner’s mind and thus causing many problems.
The real problem
After discussing the reasons for having doubts in your mind, we can say that the real problem that creates the doubt is the lack of communication and involving wrong people, which eventually causes the doubts. In 95% of the cases, these doubts that you have are self-made and baseless. Just your fear in disguise creating a mess out of your relationship.
You don’t talk it out and clear with your partner because you fear upsetting him, or you just don’t know how to handle these situations in a mature way. But the only way you can satisfyingly have your answers is to talk with your partner.
“If you enhance yourself into a very beautiful state, everyone will want to hold a relationship with you.” ~ Sadhguru. If you haven’t read his book yet, well then it is a must-read, Book name is Emotion and Relationships 2 books in one available on amazon.
Instead, you talk to friends and family who might make you think even more negatively. Involving other people is not the best of the ideas between you two because they tend to guide you according to their life experiences and not consider your relationship’s seriousness. A baseless doubt can be the reason to destroy your relation, and a genuine doubt can get ignored just because of the influence of other people’s opinions in your relationship.
How to deal with the doubts
It is normal to have a few doubts that can be cleared within a few healthy arguments. These things actually help to boost the relationship and making the bond stronger. But keeping it to yourself creates a huge burden in your mind and leads to destroying your relationship.
You can save your relationship and cop up with these doubts:
- Talk to a couple’s counselor: You can to a counselor freely if you feel that you need some guidance and a slight push towards the positive side of your relationship. The counselor will be trustworthy and unbiased to you, giving you the best bits of advice regarding your relationship.
- Respecting each other’s personal space: You can’t keep on sabotaging each other’s personal space and then complain about your partner not giving you the proper treatment. A balance in life is very crucial for things to work in the right way.
- Removing the wrong people from your life: Sometimes, wrong people get involved in your relationship to help you, but they unintentionally destroy it by creating more doubts in your mind. It is hard but essential for you to remove those people to save your relation.
- Positive attitude: Start having a positive attitude and stop focusing only on the negative sides of the relationship. Even if you only have doubts and wrong feelings but with no such reason and evidence to back it up, try to maintain that level of trust until your doubts are cleared.
- Know the difference between a healthy and a red-flag doubt: A healthy doubt refers to the assumption about the relationship itself that whether this relationship has a future or not. A red flag doubt is regarding your partner’s actions, and behaviors backed up with factual evidence.
After everything being said, whether the doubt is baseless, healthy, or red-flagged, it can quickly destroy a relationship if not handled correctly and maturely. A lot of effort is needed to save a relation. and if both the partners are committed to stay and face the problems with each other’s help, then no doubt can cause any damage to their relationship.
On the one hand, seeing how doubts can destroy the relationship is so devastating. but on the other hand, if those challenging phases overcame then; there comes the bond that is blessed to stay for an eternity.